Coming out

When I came out, it was completely by accident. I was about 15. I was doing dishes with my Mom. Dad and my little brothers were in the living room right next to the kitchen. Somehow the topic of relationships came up and after they talked to each other about it they suddenly directed the conversation to me, I think they asked me what kind of girls I'm into or something. Without even thinking, I blurted out "Oh, I wouldn't know anything about that. I'm asexual". It was embarrassing.

Luckily, I didn't get kicked out for not being straight or anything like you would usually hear. Most I dealt with was Dad and my little brothers making fun of me for two to three years for being asexual. Which I was already the butt of their jokes long before that so I was already used to shit like that.

– Anonymous

I just casually posted on insta. I didn't feel the need to make a big deal about it personally, so that worked pretty perfectly for me. Plus, my dad (slightly homophobic, not sure how he'd take it) isn't on there so I didn't have to come out to him. As for feeling differently afterwards, I just kinda felt like ppl knew a little bit more about me, which was cool.

– Anonymous

The first time I came out, it was to a bunch of my long-time online friends, and I had a very positive response. After that, it was my parents, who were mostly okay with it, and then my more liberal friends, and now it’s pretty much any time it comes up. Most of the responses have been indifferent or positive.

– Anonymous

When I finally figured everything out (before I started questioning things again), I, personally, felt super guilty not telling my family. At the same time though, I was terrified to tell any of them. (Even though I later found out that my mom is bi.)

When I finally mustered up the courage to finally tell my mom, relief began to flow through me, which continued as she took care of telling others for me since I was still terrified to tell others.

This is different for everyone, but this is how I was. So yes, it did help me, but it was also on my mind a lot where the only time I didn't really think about it was at school. It's ultimately for you to come out. If you don't want to or feel the need to, then you don't have to.

– Anonymous

Yes, my parents especially were accepting of me. They had never put any pressure on me before, so their reaction was mostly, "So that’s why. That’s cool."

– Anonymous

I’ve been lucky. Everyone has been really great about it, once they knew what it was.

– Anonymous

All around it was a really great experience. I cried from happiness because it felt like a weight had lifted off my chest.

– Anonymous

I felt a lot of relief, also my mom was really worried that I wasn't happy so explaining that I'm ace (aroace) helped her realize I was just fine where I was.

– Anonymous

Most people disbelived me and even asked numerous questions to try and find the reason behing my unwillingness to fuck. A lot of them suggested therapy and treated me as a labrat that is now open to scrutiny and can be used to prove or refute their own personal theories.

– Anonymous

My cousin said some very hurtful things to me and I was very depressed, even suicidal for a while. I had to cut him out of my life. If people can’t accept you for who you are, then they don’t deserve your time of day.

– Anonymous

My mother was furious. I explained what asexuality was, but she was adamant it didn’t exist. “There’s only heterosexuality and homosexuality!” she shouted. I didn’t make matters better when I confessed to being bi-romantic. After threatening to hit me, she stormed out of my room. (I should note that she did not hit me, only threatened to.) Later when my dad came upstairs to wish me goodnight I came out to him too. He didn’t care so much about the bi-romantic part. But when I told him I was asexual- I’ve never seen him look so disappointed. He wasn’t angry, just sad almost. Like I’d failed him. He told me that I was still young, and not to make such a big decision just yet. Both my parents act like that night never happened.

– Anonymous

I came out to a small group of people (a mix of close family and friends) because I didn’t want to keep a part of myself I considered important completely to myself, and I think it’s important to be honest with those closest to you.

– Anonymous

I told other people because I couldn’t keep it to myself any longer. I felt like the longer I kept it a secret, the more ashamed of it I would become, and I didn’t want to be ashamed of my sexuality.

– Anonymous

I want young aces to know they’re not alone. I felt so isolated through much of my adolescence, and I think that if I had known of one other ace, I wouldn’t have felt as confused and alone as I did. So I want to be that one other ace for young people.

– Anonymous

My asexuality is not something I make a big deal out of, and I don’t really feel the need to tell people unless they specifically ask whether I’m ace.

– Anonymous

I only come out if it is necessary and would not voluntarily do so to anyone I didn’t know well, as I don’t see how my orientation is most people’s business.

– Anonymous